Friday, February 14, 2014

In Search of Lost Time - The madeleine episode or Involuntary Memory

These are my favorite lines from Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time -  Volume I - Swann's Way.  It describes an event where eating tea soaked madeleine triggers unexpected strong vivid remembrance of a childhood memory of eating tea soaked madeleine. Such involuntary memories allow the timeline of the story to randomly shift from past, further past and present.  I think that human memories are non linear and often memories of the past is intervened with memory of further past, having gap in between, and that memory is sometimes connected with the present memories.  Similar literary device of involuntary memories and non-linearity of memories is depicted in Swedish director Ingmar Bergman's masterpiece work "Wild Strawberries". The main character experiences series of involuntary memories in his vivid dreams and it is also triggered by seeing his old childhood home. If you like the following few passages then I recommend you to read In Search of Lost Time (it is Proust's monumental work consisting of seven volumes, swann's way is the first volume) and watch Ingmar Bergman's film "Wild Strawberries".

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Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Combray, save what was comprised in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence for me, when one day in winter, on my return home, my mother, seeing that I was cold, offered me some tea, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent for one of those squat, plump little cakes called "petites madeleines," which look as though they had been moulded in the fluted valve of a scallop shell. And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreary day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory - this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I sensed that it was connected with the taste of the tea and the cake, but that it infinitely transcended those savours, could, no, indeed, be of the same nature.

I drink a second mouthful, in which I find nothing more than in the first, then a third, which gives me rather less than the second. It is time to stop; the potion is losing it magic. It is plain that the truth I am seeking lies not in the cup but in myself... And I begin to ask myself what it could have been, this unremembered state which brought with it no logical proof, but the indisputable evidence, of its felicity, its reality, and in whose presence other states of consciousness melted and vanished. I decide to attempt to make it reappear. I retrace my thoughts to the moment at which I drank the first spoonful of tea. I rediscover the same state, illuminated by no fresh light. I ask my mind to make one further effort, to bring back once more the fleeting sensation.

..And suddenly the memory revealed itself. The taste was that of the little piece of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings I did not go out before mass), when I went to say good morning to her in her bedroom, my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in her own cup of tea or tisane... But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection...

...And as soon as I had recognized the taste of the piece of madeleine soaked in her decoction of lime-blossom which my aunt used to give me (although I did not yet know and must long postpone the discovery of why this memory made me so happy) immediately the old grey house upon the street, where her room was, rose up like a stage set to attach itself to the little pavilion opening on to the garden which had been built out behind it for my parents (the isolated segment which until that moment had been all that I could see); and with the house the town, from morning to night and in all weathers, the Square where I used to be sent before lunch, the streets along which I used to run errands, the country roads we took when it was fine...

...The sight of the little madeleine had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it. And all from my cup of tea...

(You can read the chapter here: http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/proust.html )


Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Seventh Seal - Confession - best scene


This is a movie clip from the 1957 movie "Det Sjunde Inseglet" (The Seventh Seal), directed by Ingmar Bergman.

Antonius Block is a knight returning from the Crusades. Here, he's entering a chapel to confess about his withering faith and his thoughts about god and death to Death himself, who disguised into a priest. This is a short, yet accurate trip to the innermost depths of a human's fears and wonders.

KNIGHT
I want to talk to you as openly as I can, but
my heart is empty.

DEATH doesn't answer.

KNIGHT
The emptiness is a mirror turned towards my
own face. I see myself in it, and I am filled
with fear and disgust.

DEATH doesn't answer.

KNIGHT
Through my indifference to my fellow men, I
have isolated myself from their company. Now I
live in a world of phantoms. I am imprisoned in
my dreams and fantasies.

DEATH
And yet you don't want to die.

KNIGHT
Yes, I do.

DEATH
What are you waiting for?

KNIGHT
I want knowledge.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Two Billion Light Years Of Loneliness


Human beings on this small orb
sleep, waken and work, and sometimes
wish for friends on Mars.

I’ve no notion what Martians do on their small orb

( neririing or kiruruing or hararaing ).

But sometimes they like to have friends on Earth.

No doubt about that.

Universal gravitation is the power of solitudes

pulling each other.

Because the universe is distorted,

we all seek for one another.

Because the universe goes on expanding,

we are all uneasy.

With the chill of two billion light-years of solitude,

I suddenly sneezed.

 - "Two Billion Light Years Of Loneliness" by Shuntaro Tanikawa


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Beatles - Across the Universe (My Favorite Beatles Song)

John Lennon got the idea to write this song when he heard phrase "words are flowing out like endless rain into paper cup" from his first wife Cynthia while talking about something. Shortly after that while in bed, Lennon kept hearing the phrase "flowing like an endless stream" again and again. This led him to write this cosmic song. According to Lennon, this is his best, most poetic lyric he ever wrote. The line Kay Guru Deva Om is in Sanskrit and it means glory to the shining remover of darkness. Oh and Fiona Apple's cover of this song is also very good. Enjoy!

Words are flowing out like 
Endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me.

Jai Guru Deva. Om
Nothing's gonna change my world x4
Images of broken light, which 
Dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe.
Thoughts meander like a 
Restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.

Jai Guru Deva. Om
Nothing's gonna change my world x4


Sounds of laughter, shades of life
Are ringing through my opened ears 
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love, which
Shines around me like a million suns,
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai Guru Deva.
Nothing's gonna change my world x4

My List of Top Films (name/director)

This is an incomplete list. Things I look in films are plot, message, soundtrack, actors&acting and cinematography. You can probably see my movie taste from this list.

  • The Seventh Seal - Ingmar Bergman
  • Wild Strawberries - Ingmar Bergman
  • Before Sunrise/Sunset - Richard Linklater
  • Waking Life - Richard Linklater
  • Coffee and Cigarettes - Jim Jarmusch
  • Dead Man - Jim Jarmusch
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey - Stanley Kubrick
  • A Clockwork Orange - Stanley Kubrick
  • Amadeus - Forma and Shaffer
  • Lost in Translation - Sofia Coppola
  • Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain - Jean-Pierre Jeunet 
  • Pulp Fiction - Quentin Tarantino
  • Reservoir Dogs - Quentin Tarantino
  • Ikiru - Akira Kurosawa
  • Tokyo Story - Yasujirō Ozu
  • Vanilla Sky - Cameron Crowe
  • Inception - Christopher Nolan
  • Der Himmel über Berlin - Wim Wenders
  • Das Leben der Anderen - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
  • Goodbye Lenin - Wolfgang Becker
  • Submarine - Richard Ayoade
  • Chungking Express - Wong Kar-wai
  • In the Mood for Love  - Wong Kar-wai
  • New World - Park Hoon Jung
  • A Bittersweet Life - Kim Jee-woon
  • Oldboy - Park Chan-wook
  • Memento - Christopher Nolan
  • Prestige- Christopher Nolan
  • 5 Centimeters per seconds - Makoto Shinkai (+other makoto works)
  • The Machinist - Brad Anderson
  • The Number 23 - Joel Schumacher
  • Requiem for a Dream - Daren Aronofsky
  • Matrix - Wachowski brothers
  • Fight Club - David Fincher
  • Dolls - Takeshi Kitano
  • The Illusionist - Neil Burger
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Michael Kondry
  • Dead Poet Society - Peter Weir
  • V for Vendetta - James McTeigue
  • Tokyo Sonato - Kiyoshi Kurosawa
  • Casablanca - Michael Curtiz
  • The Graduate - Mike Nichols
  • Schindler's List - Steven Spielsberg
  • Life is Beautiful - Roberto Benigni
  • Goodfellas - Martin Scorsese
  • Last Emperor - Bernardo Bertolcci
  • Godfather - Albert Ruddy
  • Citizen Kane - Orson Welles
  • Turkish Gambit - Konstantin Ernst
  • Studio Ghibli works (mainly Hayao Miyazaki's works)


Two explanations

One of the many great scenes  from Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain
"...Nino is late. Amelie can only see two explanations.
  1  - he didn't get the photo.

  2  - before he could assemble it, a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up, mistook him for a fugitive, and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who took him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin. [Increasingly angry] Amelie refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cozy... "

the photo Amelie is talking about

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Eternal recurrence


Some thoughts...Eternal recurrence. What if everything that is suppose to happen have already happened. Future and past are actually just present, but it is in different layer. All events occurred infinite times. Then does it mean our free will is fake or is it a test of time for human to transcend from normal beings to overman, as Nietzche wrote. Break the circle to become overman or stay in circle and lead predetermined life that's all event have already happened. Just like the underground man said,it seems attempt to prove our free will will lead us to become deranged human beings... But why does it matter if everything that is suppose to happen have already happened... If eternal recurrence is true and everything has already happened, what is the point of doing something, it is already done... But our limited human body in this limited time, in this limited space, desire to be in the eternity, that we will never be and desire things more and more. Simple human nature drives us and keeps us living on and on, infinite desires, goals... Some fulfilled , some crushed... Again and again in this recurring circle... Some are born into sweet delight and some are born into endless night, as William Blake wrote, again and again? Or do events have chance of changing its state everytime when it recur? Slight chance of that can give meanings... But if not then enjoy the present that consists of past and future...

Saturday, December 14, 2013

The Universe and Us

"...The tiny space I occupy is so small compared to the rest of space, where I am not and where things have nothing to do with me; and the amount of time in which I get to live my life is so insignificant compared to eternity, where I've never been and won't ever be... Yet in this atom, this mathematical point blood circulates, a brain functions and desires something as well... How absurd! What nonsense!.."       -Bazarov from Turgenev's novel Fathers and Children    


This video shows how insignificant and small we are compared to only the known part of the universe. Our day to day problems and our mundane daily routines are simply nothing.... but then again we have to continue living. The universe is so vast and complex for us to comprehend. There are many reasons to live...succeeding and leaving your mark in this small planet earth...helping others...eating foods....making difference...changing the world....etc etc etc etc etc etc and it is impossible to say which one of the reasons of living is the correct one. Maybe religion could give some answer... but if you are not strict religious then definition of meaning of life has to come from within us. In my view, we define our existence, we make goals and we strive for it. And that makes our lives interesting to live and that makes us to exist in this world. Like Bazarov said (quote at the beginning), we are insignificant but our functioning brain desires something. Those desires and experiences, gives one chance to create his own meaning. (Ex: a kid liked to play soccer and really enjoyed it. He defined his goal to become the best soccer player and starts working hard to fulfill his goal) And of course it doesn't have to be one big goal and it doesn't have to be a firm unchangeable goal, person's taste, desires and goals can change overtime. And that and that and that.... still it may seem pointless in the long run. What is the point of fulfilling our goal if we were to wither away and be forgotten after a century or two? The good thing is all of us will wither away in the long run, so you are not the only one. The bad thing is, it is true that we will all wither away. Even the greatest scientists, leaders and any person of consenquence will become insignificant after couple of centuries... no fame is eternal. The only solution to get rid of this problem is to accept that nothing is eternal and try to live. Set goals and dreams and try to fulfill. If you succeed then you can be proud of living meaningful live following your dreams and fulfilling your goals; and even if you fail, you can be proud of living the life you wanted to live and did what you wanted to do. People may debate here and there about this issue but let's save that debate for another day.

And now some thoughts about the universe. Let's assume after some years we have solved all global poverty, inequality problem and became truly globally peaceful civilization. (truly a utopia, no violance and let's assume that there is machine that can give us anything that we want, so all people became equally rich. We have abundance of everything and we can cure every disease..... let's just go with this conditions for a bit) Then what will be our goal of living? It seems to me in that case, there will be only three goals. One is to just enjoy ourselves and become hedonistic. Second option is to pursue artistic career and write poems, songs, direct movies, design things etc etc. Third option is to pursue scientific curiosity. The last option is the most appealing choice for me. Discovering why we exist and what caused our existence will be the big question to solve. You may ask what will be point of knowing all of that? The answer will be of course that is the point. Well, if our universe is part of other big universe then so be it. If our universe was created out of just randomness then so be it. If our universe was made by some great being then so be it. The point is to find out the answer and depending on the answer we can continue to pursue further. But what will be our next move if we finish finding all the answers for everything? I think then we may have finished this game. Just like any free roam RPG video game, you have finished every quest, got every achievement,collected all items and you beat all bosses. Now your video game character can just roam around the game for no purpose or repeat certain quests again and again that you have already finished or just exist the game.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The place we live


Distant Memories

...Memories are not linear. Certain memory is bound to be intervened with other memories that are from earlier ones or from ahead ones. It is understandable that memory from time t , memory of a past, can include memory from time (t-1), memory that happened before that past memory. However, can memory of time t include memory of future, that didn't actually happen? Assume you had a memory of yourself buying a food and at that some past time t you thought you would finish the food before finishing homework. In that past memory, you were just buying food and had planned to finished it before homework in some future. Is this a memory that include memory from future? It seems not, because that future planning is not actually an event that took place, it was just a prediction and therefore it is just a memory of a prediction. Now, what if in parallel universe, that planned future event actually took place and if we include memories from all possible universes then that past memory of yours will indeed include memory of a future in it. However, since that past memory is operating in different universe than the parallel one in which the future event that took place, that future event may not happen at all. It can happen but we are unsure of it in that time, it was just a prediction and not an actual memory as it was in the parallel timeline. Even if it happens, it will not be a memory to a memory that it was still a prediction (something could happen). Then that memory must be a distant memory. Distant because there is no way it can memory, far from it. It occurred in different timeline and in that timeline where the memory took place, that distant memory was nothing but a future event (prediction, planning) that could happen. And if that event doesn't take place in the timeline, then it will become the future event that could have happened. Distant memories could either become "i guessed it would happen" events or "events that could have happened". In either case, it won't be considered as memory in our first memory. It is something that is very close to being something, yet fundamentally something that can never be that something. Our life is filled with this distant memories. 5 min ago i thought i would write all of this in some other way but then now it is written in this way. That writing this in some way is a distant memory of mine, and it became the event that could have happened..... Well of course i made up this distant memory thing... Probably distant memory is some memory that is from many years ago, but I would like to think of distant memories in a way I just explained. Maybe some writer's memory had this distant memory to define "distant memory" in my way but then it became the event that could gave happened.