Some thoughts...Eternal recurrence. What if everything that is suppose to happen have already happened. Future and past are actually just present, but it is in different layer. All events occurred infinite times. Then does it mean our free will is fake or is it a test of time for human to transcend from normal beings to overman, as Nietzche wrote. Break the circle to become overman or stay in circle and lead predetermined life that's all event have already happened. Just like the underground man said,it seems attempt to prove our free will will lead us to become deranged human beings... But why does it matter if everything that is suppose to happen have already happened... If eternal recurrence is true and everything has already happened, what is the point of doing something, it is already done... But our limited human body in this limited time, in this limited space, desire to be in the eternity, that we will never be and desire things more and more. Simple human nature drives us and keeps us living on and on, infinite desires, goals... Some fulfilled , some crushed... Again and again in this recurring circle... Some are born into sweet delight and some are born into endless night, as William Blake wrote, again and again? Or do events have chance of changing its state everytime when it recur? Slight chance of that can give meanings... But if not then enjoy the present that consists of past and future...
"...The tiny space I occupy is so small compared to the rest of space, where I am not and where things have nothing to do with me; and the amount of time in which I get to live my life is so insignificant compared to eternity, where I've never been and won't ever be... Yet in this atom, this mathematical point blood circulates, a brain functions and desires something as well... How absurd! What nonsense!.." -Bazarov from Turgenev's novel Fathers and Children
This video shows how insignificant and small we are compared to only the known part of the universe. Our day to day problems and our mundane daily routines are simply nothing.... but then again we have to continue living. The universe is so vast and complex for us to comprehend. There are many reasons to live...succeeding and leaving your mark in this small planet earth...helping others...eating foods....making difference...changing the world....etc etc etc etc etc etc and it is impossible to say which one of the reasons of living is the correct one. Maybe religion could give some answer... but if you are not strict religious then definition of meaning of life has to come from within us. In my view, we define our existence, we make goals and we strive for it. And that makes our lives interesting to live and that makes us to exist in this world. Like Bazarov said (quote at the beginning), we are insignificant but our functioning brain desires something. Those desires and experiences, gives one chance to create his own meaning. (Ex: a kid liked to play soccer and really enjoyed it. He defined his goal to become the best soccer player and starts working hard to fulfill his goal) And of course it doesn't have to be one big goal and it doesn't have to be a firm unchangeable goal, person's taste, desires and goals can change overtime. And that and that and that.... still it may seem pointless in the long run. What is the point of fulfilling our goal if we were to wither away and be forgotten after a century or two? The good thing is all of us will wither away in the long run, so you are not the only one. The bad thing is, it is true that we will all wither away. Even the greatest scientists, leaders and any person of consenquence will become insignificant after couple of centuries... no fame is eternal. The only solution to get rid of this problem is to accept that nothing is eternal and try to live. Set goals and dreams and try to fulfill. If you succeed then you can be proud of living meaningful live following your dreams and fulfilling your goals; and even if you fail, you can be proud of living the life you wanted to live and did what you wanted to do. People may debate here and there about this issue but let's save that debate for another day.
And now some thoughts about the universe. Let's assume after some years we have solved all global poverty, inequality problem and became truly globally peaceful civilization. (truly a utopia, no violance and let's assume that there is machine that can give us anything that we want, so all people became equally rich. We have abundance of everything and we can cure every disease..... let's just go with this conditions for a bit) Then what will be our goal of living? It seems to me in that case, there will be only three goals. One is to just enjoy ourselves and become hedonistic. Second option is to pursue artistic career and write poems, songs, direct movies, design things etc etc. Third option is to pursue scientific curiosity. The last option is the most appealing choice for me. Discovering why we exist and what caused our existence will be the big question to solve. You may ask what will be point of knowing all of that? The answer will be of course that is the point. Well, if our universe is part of other big universe then so be it. If our universe was created out of just randomness then so be it. If our universe was made by some great being then so be it. The point is to find out the answer and depending on the answer we can continue to pursue further. But what will be our next move if we finish finding all the answers for everything? I think then we may have finished this game. Just like any free roam RPG video game, you have finished every quest, got every achievement,collected all items and you beat all bosses. Now your video game character can just roam around the game for no purpose or repeat certain quests again and again that you have already finished or just exist the game.
...Memories are not linear. Certain memory is bound to be intervened with other memories that are from earlier ones or from ahead ones. It is understandable that memory from time t , memory of a past, can include memory from time (t-1), memory that happened before that past memory. However, can memory of time t include memory of future, that didn't actually happen? Assume you had a memory of yourself buying a food and at that some past time t you thought you would finish the food before finishing homework. In that past memory, you were just buying food and had planned to finished it before homework in some future. Is this a memory that include memory from future? It seems not, because that future planning is not actually an event that took place, it was just a prediction and therefore it is just a memory of a prediction. Now, what if in parallel universe, that planned future event actually took place and if we include memories from all possible universes then that past memory of yours will indeed include memory of a future in it. However, since that past memory is operating in different universe than the parallel one in which the future event that took place, that future event may not happen at all. It can happen but we are unsure of it in that time, it was just a prediction and not an actual memory as it was in the parallel timeline. Even if it happens, it will not be a memory to a memory that it was still a prediction (something could happen). Then that memory must be a distant memory. Distant because there is no way it can memory, far from it. It occurred in different timeline and in that timeline where the memory took place, that distant memory was nothing but a future event (prediction, planning) that could happen. And if that event doesn't take place in the timeline, then it will become the future event that could have happened. Distant memories could either become "i guessed it would happen" events or "events that could have happened". In either case, it won't be considered as memory in our first memory. It is something that is very close to being something, yet fundamentally something that can never be that something. Our life is filled with this distant memories. 5 min ago i thought i would write all of this in some other way but then now it is written in this way. That writing this in some way is a distant memory of mine, and it became the event that could have happened..... Well of course i made up this distant memory thing... Probably distant memory is some memory that is from many years ago, but I would like to think of distant memories in a way I just explained. Maybe some writer's memory had this distant memory to define "distant memory" in my way but then it became the event that could gave happened.
